Spoiler Alert!

for those under a rock or in Zimbabwe: here is the Abridged 'Dork Night' movie:


FADE IN:

INT. BANK - GHICAGO

A GANG of CLOWNS breaks into a bank. The AUDIENCE impatiently tolerates the scene, despite having already watched it in front of I Am Legend as well as thirty times when it leaked ONLINE.

RANDOM CLOWN #1

Robbing this bank was a great idea. Anyone know why they call the guy that planned it ‘The Joker’?

RANDOM CLOWN #2

I hear he wears clown makeup to scare people.

RANDOM CLOWN #1

What? How does that answer the question at all? I asked why they call him ‘The Joker’, not why they call him ‘The Clown’. Nuts to this, has the real movie started yet?

The CLOWNS gather up a bunch of money and secretly kill each other one by one. One of the clowns pulls a gun on the OBVIOUSLY HEATH LEDGER CLOWN.

RANDOM CLOWN #3

I’m betting the Joker told you to kill me, so rather than kill you with your back turned I’m going to tell you how clever I am for figuring that out.

HEATH LEDGER CLOWN

No, I kill the bus driver.

RANDOM CLOWN #3

Bus driver? As in a person who drives a bus? That’s extremely confusing to me, for you see I am not aware of any bus thus far in the heist. How strange of you to mention a vehicle that I have yet to be aware of in any capacity. Let me just take a few steps to the left while I stand and ponder what you could possibly mean by that.

He gets run over by a BUS that drives into the bank.

BUS DRIVER CLOWN

Somehow, the bus survived crashing into the side of a building without a scratch, so let’s load it up with money! Hey, where are all of the other gang members?

HEATH LEDGER CLOWN

They had to go. Something about attending a dark carnival. Oh, and also, you’re dead.

HEATH kills the BUS DRIVER, puts a smoke grenade in WILLIAM FICHTNER’S mouth for no reason, then drives out of the building into a conveniently placed gap in a line of SCHOOLBUSES.

INT. PARKING GARAGE

A bunch of DRUG DEALERS confront CILLIAN MURPHY.

DRUG DEALER

Hey, your LSD made my clients shit themselves and jump out of buildings.

CILLIAN MURPHY

Honestly, why were you buying drugs from a guy with a potato sack on his head?

Suddenly a bunch of FAKE BATMEN break up the drug deal but eventually CHRISTIAN BALE WEARING BLACK RUBBER shows up and arrests everyone.

FAKE BATMAN

Jesus, I’m just trying to help, do you really need to punch me in the face with metal, spiked gloves? What’s the difference between you and me?

BAT-BALE

Depends, are you on good terms with your sister?

INT. KITCHEN

Various MOBS all meet in a single room to facilitate the plot. Suddenly, HEATH LEDGER enters.

HEATH LEDGER

So it seems you guys all have a problem with Batman. Did you guys ever consider killing him?

ERIC ROBERTS

Holy shit, are we allowed to do that? We thought about having a mobster vs. crimefighter softball game, but that’s way easier! Why the hell didn’t we think of that?

HEATH LEDGER

Damn, being a criminal mastermind is cake when the other criminals have brains the size of Mary-Kate Olsen’s lunch. Now, I need to take over one of your gangs. First, let me tell you a story about when my asshole dad said things like “why so serious?” and “let’s put a smile on that face!”

ERIC ROBERTS

So all of your best lines from the trailer were from you quoting your douchebag father? That’s almost as disappointing as the way the last scene brought back Cillian Murphy just to get rid of him in 2 minutes.

EXT. POLICE STATION ROOFTOP

GARY OLDMAN and AARON ECKHART wait on the rooftop for CHRISTIAN BALE IN A BLACK RUBBER SUIT.

BAT-BALE

Grrgrll farggle raar!

GARY OLDMAN

Nice to see you too. This is Aaron Eckhart, he’s the new District Attorney and eventual tragic character.

AARON ECKHART

Here’s the deal. The mobsters all gave their money to Chin Han, who has gone off to Hong Kong. We need you to go get him and bring him here so I can cut off the mob’s money supply.

BAT-BALE

Frmmrrphhl garg. Rarrawrl.

AARON ECKHART

Did you take voice coaching lessons from Jack Bauer or something? Don’t you feel like an idiot growling all of your lines? You sound like you’re gargling Michael Keaton’s balls.

CHRISTIAN BALE goes to see MORGAN FREEMAN.

CHRISTIAN BALE

Morgan, I need to fly to Hong Kong, kidnap Chin Han, then fly out. Can you help me using technology and caustic banter? Also I want a new suit that lets me turn my head.

MORGAN FREEMAN

A whole new suit? You spent the entire last movie building the first one, and you want a totally redesigned new one after one line of dialogue?

CHRISTIAN BALE

Yes.

MORGAN FREEMAN

Your new suit is ready, have fun.

MICHAEL CAINE

I’ve thought of an excellent alibi for when you’re in Hong Kong, Mr. Bale.

CHRISTIAN BALE

Does it involve me taking an entire ballet troupe to a yacht from which I will mysteriously disappear, arousing a great deal of suspicion?

MICHAEL CAINE

Sure does!

CHRISTIAN BALE flies to HONG KONG and abducts CHIN HAN, then brings him back to CHICAGO. CHIN sells out the MOBSTERS, who then go to TRIAL. The JUDGE for the trial gets into her car, which suddenly explodes! And the COMMISSIONER is poisoned! And ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL manages to find work!

INT. CHRISTIAN BALE’S PENTHOUSE

CHRISTIAN BALE throws a party for AARON ECKHART, which HEATH LEDGER crashes.

HEATH LEDGER

Good evening, we’re tonight’s entertainment! We also do birthday parties and Bar Mitzvahs. Here’s my card.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL

This is a ‘Wild Draw Four’ Uno card.

HEATH LEDGER

Yeah, I kinda had to use up all of the regular decks of cards in the city to stuff the judge’s car full of jokers. Took fucking hours.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL

Well if you’re here for Aaron Eckhart, we had ‘Old Chicago’ for dinner so he’s in the bathroom shitting lava.

HEATH LEDGER

I can wait. Want to hear a story? Once upon a time, I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Er, no, I mean in complete contrast to you. You’re actually kind of a butterface. But at least you’re not Katie Holmes, I like that.

BAT-BALE

Then you’re gonna love me!

HEATH LEDGER

How the hell did a guy in a giant bat costume sneak up right next to me without anyone noticing?

HEATH and CHRISTIAN fight, and somehow HEATH is able to hold his own against a guy with NINJA TRAINING. HEATH throws MAGGIE out of a window.

CHRISTIAN grabs her in midair, allowing MAGGIE to avoid landing on the PAVEMENT by landing safely on a CAR instead.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL

Thanks for catching me, but how are we going to resolve the issue of Heath still terrorizing your party guests upstairs?

BAT-BALE

Maybe if we awkwardly cut to the next scene, nobody will notice that we accidentally lost some pages of the screenplay.

CUT TO:

EXT. CHICAGO STREETS

The police are holding a funeral for the DEAD COMMISSIONER in the most logical location: directly in the middle of 4 abandoned high-rise buildings with lots of windows. The MAYOR gives a eulogy while wearing a DISTRACTING AMOUNT OF EYELINER.

CHRISTIAN BALE uses MAGIC to pull fingerprints off a nonexistent bullet and winds up getting to the FUNERAL just in time to see HEATH LEDGER attempt to shoot the unprotected MAYOR, miss, and somehow hit GARY OLDMAN instead.

AARON ECKHART

(oh phone)

Maggie, Gary Oldman has just been shot.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL

I’m sure he’s fine, he’s not even commissioner yet. We’re not supposed to actually be worried that he might be dead, are we?

AARON ECKHART

Nonetheless, I’m concerned for your safety. Who can we trust?

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL

I can go to Christian Bale’s penthouse. It’s the safest place in Chicago right now.

AARON ECKHART

The place where I almost got killed by Heath Ledger and you got thrown out of a window? Maybe you should hide on some subway tracks instead.

HEATH LEDGER

(on television)

Starting today, I’m going to kill innocent people until Batman reveals his secret identity. This plan is sure to work, since Americans are generally so willing to negotiate with terrorists.

CHRISTIAN BALE

I’ll never give into this terrorist’s demands!

(pause)

Nevermind, I quit. Play the sad music while I throw everything in the garbage, Michael. I am Batman no more.

MICHAEL CAINE

Subtle. Did you want to go kiss Kirsten Dunst upside-down in the rain, too?

AARON ECKHART holds a plot-explaining press conference, a scene that is quickly becoming a staple of the “Comic Book Movie About A Millionaire Playboy That Uses Technology To Build A Suit That Enables Him To Fight Evildoers” genre.

AARON ECKHART

Batman has offered to turn himself in. Are you people sure you want him to do this? If we go through with it, he might be replaced with Robin in the sequel.

RANDOM COP

Do it! Things are worse than evurrrrrrrr!

AARON ECKHART

Fine. I’m Batman, arrest me.

RANDOM COP

What? No, Batman has to be someone super-wealthy like, I dunno, Christian Bale for example. Don’t be stupid.

The POLICE arrest AARON and drive him to JAIL, but HEATH LEDGER shows up to FUCK SHIT UP. CHRISTIAN BALE’S car gets damaged, forcing him to resort to his unstable-looking BALE-POD, sold separately.

The SWAT van transporting AARON turns down a random road, which happens to be the exact road HEATH predicted, and therefore has a trap waiting.

AARON ECKHART

God damn, Heath is pretty smart for a guy that dresses like he’s going to a midnight viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

CHRISTIAN BALE IN A RUBBER SUIT flips HEATH’S TRUCK using his BAT-PHYSICS-VIOLATOR, then rides up a wall in order to turn around like a BADASS. FANBOYS in the AUDIENCE cheer wildly for this, even though it looks RETARDED.

HEATH LEDGER

So it’s finally here. Me at one end of a Chicago street, you at the other. The epic battle between good and evil, teased in every advertisement for the movie! This is going to be awesome.

CHRISTIAN BALE crashes his bike like a PUTZ. HEATH laughs, then gets arrested by GARY OLDMAN, who is alive after all. Then the scene ends.

GARY OLDMAN

You see, this was all an elaborate plan to capture you! Including all the parts where a bunch of cops got killed!

HEATH LEDGER

That’s nothing, because MY plan included everything in your plan, but also some other stuff that gives me the upper hand after all! Eckhart and Gyllenhaal have been placed at opposite ends of the city with bombs strapped to them. You’ll only have time to save one.

BAT-BALE

That’s alright, the police will just save the other one.

HEATH LEDGER

Actually the police here are so incredibly inept that I am able to take their failure for granted in my grand scheme. Not that I look like the kind of guy that makes plans or anything.

GARY OLDMAN

We may be inept, but at least we don’t steal our dastardly plots from “Superman: The Movie.” Get your nose out of Gene Hackman’s ass.

CHRISTIAN tries to rescue MAGGIE but actually winds up saving AARON instead. ALL of MAGGIE blows up, HALF of AARON blows up, and ONE FOURTH of the AUDIENCE’S BLADDERS blow up.

Meanwhile, HEATH LEDGER escapes police custody using brabble frabble gloob glop.

INT. HOSPITAL

GARY OLDMAN visits AARON ECKHART, whose face has been half burnt off.

GARY OLDMAN

Holy fucking shit!

AARON ECKHART

Are you alarmed by my hideous scarring?

GARY OLDMAN

No, I just can’t believe how over-the-top Christopher Nolan went with the special effects on your face. I thought these movies were supposed to be realistic. Look at you, your fucking eyeball is hanging out. You look like the Toxic Avenger.

GARY leaves and HEATH LEDGER enters.

AARON ECKHART

You asshole, why did you kill my girlfriend?

HEATH LEDGER

I’m an agent of chaos. I just do things.

AARON ECKHART

Wow, that’s some sophisticated characterization there. As soon as I get out of these surprisingly strong bandages, I’m going to kill you!

HEATH LEDGER

Look, you don’t want to kill me for murdering her. You want to kill everyone else for failing to stop me from murdering her!

AARON ECKHART

That doesn’t make any sense at all.

HEATH LEDGER

And yet, it’s going to be your main character motivation for the rest of the movie. Now make with the murder, Sir Skins-A-Lot.

INT. CHRISTIAN BALE’S LAIR

MORGAN FREEMAN enters CHRISTIAN’S LAIR and finds an array of tiny LCDs monitoring the entire city using SONAR.

MORGAN FREEMAN

What the hell? How did you rig this thing up without me? You needed me to staple bat ears to a black mask.

BAT-BALE

I somehow installed your sonar technology in every phone in the city, and apparently everyone has bought a new phone in the past week. I need you to use this thing to find Heath Ledger.

MORGAN FREEMAN

This is totally unethical and I won’t stand for it.

BAT-BALE

What? This was YOUR plan. You didn’t give a shit when we were spying on Chinese guys but now you’re all pissy? What’s the difference between that and this?

MORGAN FREEMAN

Plausibility, mostly.

BAT-BALE

Well, this scene is getting dangerously close to actually having something to say, so we’d better hurry and get to a pointless action sequence.

CHRISTIAN and MORGAN figure out that HEATH is hiding out in a random building overlooking the harbor, where he has rigged two FERRIES with EXPLOSIVES.

MORGAN FREEMAN (O.S.)

(into Christian’s earpiece)

Alright, it looks like there are a bunch of hostages dressed as clowns and a bunch of kidnappers dressed as hostages. You should tell the SWAT guys so they don’t shoot the wrong people.

BAT-BALE

I think I’d rather beat the living shit out of them and leave them hanging off the side of a building instead.

CHRISTIAN walljumps his way to HEATH, who releases DOGS on him.

BAT-BALE

Oh no, dogs! Batman’s one true weakness!

BALE fights the dogs and then fights HEATH. Eventually HEATH falls off a ledge and plummets toward the ground, but CHRISTIAN saves him.

BAT-BALE

I saved you, Heath. That proves how committed I am to my sissy-pants moral code.

HEATH LEDGER

Huh. You didn’t seem to have a problem letting Liam Neeson die in the last movie, and all he did was blow up your house. I guess you loved your mansion more than Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don’t blame you, honestly.

BAT-BALE

I had to save you! You need to be in the next movie!

HEATH LEDGER

Yeah… about that…

EXT. BUILDING RUINS

AARON ECKHART has taken GARY OLDMAN’S FAMILY hostage.

GARY OLDMAN

Please don’t hurt my family. I know you’re trying to establish a major character shift in like five minutes, but still, this is pretty unbelievable.

AARON ECKHART

I’m going to kill your son, Gary. Please continue laying on the ground and doing absolutely nothing to stop me.

CHRISTIAN BALE shows up and shoves AARON off the building ledge to his OBVIOUSLY-NOT-ACTUAL-DEATH.

GARY OLDMAN

Way to avoid breaking your one rule, Bale.

BAT-BALE

We can’t let people find out he killed a bunch of people. Tell everyone I did it.

GARY OLDMAN

Hmm. You know, we could probably just blame everything on Heath Ledger, since he murdered like 500 other people during the movie.

BAT-BALE

No, it has to be me. Nothing else would be as arbitrarily dramatic.

GARY OLDMAN

Alright, I’ll go along with your plan to protect Eckhart’s reputation, somehow looking past the fact that he nearly just shot my son in the fucking face.

The POLICE chase CHRISTIAN BALE into the night while GARY tries to awkwardly contort his closing voiceover into something that lets him say the title of the movie.

CHRISTIAN BALE gives everyone in the AUDIENCE a MILLION DOLLARS and everyone rubs their movie tickets on themselves to CURE CANCER, because this is OHMIGOD THE BEST MOVIE EVER EVER EVER!

The best show on TV.

Prosecutors in Russia want to ban the award-winning satirical U.S. cartoon "South Park," calling the series "extremist" after receiving viewer complaints, a spokeswoman said on Monday.

"South Park," a cartoon aimed at adults and featuring a group of nine-year olds in a Colorado town, has courted controversy since its 1997 debut, lampooning celebrities, politicians, religion, gay marriage and Saddam Hussein.

But investigators have filed a motion after deciding an episode broadcast on Moscow television station 2x2 in January "bore signs of extremist activity," said regional prosecutors office spokeswoman Valentina Titova.

"In accordance with the conclusions made by experts from the court investigations committee, a claim has been filed against 2x2 for its broadcast of an episode of South Park," Titova said.

"South Park" has won two Emmy Awards and was first shown on the U.S. Comedy Central network. It is dubbed into Russian and rebroadcast on local networks, including 2x2, a channel which broadcasts animated series in Moscow and St Petersburg.


2 questions: What episode. Where can I see Russian dubbed SP? I bet Cartman sound HILARIOUS.

Ohio: Buckeye State..Otherwise known as a poisonous nut.....

http://www.9news.com/news/watercooler/article.aspx?storyid=99193&catid=337



"For 24 hours, the message board outside Havens Corners Church, 6696 Havens Corner Rd., read, "I kissed a girl and I liked it, then I went to Hell."

The message refers to the chart-topping song by pop artist Katy Perry "I Kissed A Girl."

Pastor David Allison said he didn't put up the sign to draw attention to the church.

"We didn't intend to get into all this, but it's become a bigger thing," Allison said.

He was just very concerned about the implications of the song for teenagers and what he called a music video so suggestive it borders on pornography.

"If anyone's seen the video and understands how lewd and suggestive the video is for this song, that is not something young people should go toward," Allison said.

He thought the message would be a loving way to remind teenagers that the Bible denounces homosexuality.

Taking a look at the other side of this story, some people can't believe the church displayed that message so publicly.

A viewer sent the local NBC affiliate a picture of the sign with the subject title "Worst Church Sign Ever."

The sign was removed Thursday. "

Where is the cat?

A few weeks ago we bought the 83 year old stepmom a cat from the Humane Society.

We figured, after Dad passed in April, the old lady would like the company. We were wrong.

This cat is psycho. Or should I say, was.

Maybe all cats are they way, I'm not sure.

She expressed a desire for the cat to go. He was aggressive and loud. Hissed and batted at her a couple times...

My wife wanted for us, the couple with the Toddler and the 11 year old beagle to 'take it in'.

I was okay with the cat, until it violently hissed at me as I was staggering in the door Wednesday night. Needless to say, I quickly introduced said 'cat' to the pleasures of my sneaker and a visit to the porch....

Now the damn thing has been missing for 3 days. Even though it has a 'chip' in it, and is wearing a tag with the Fulton Co HS on it, it has deemed our family unworthy of it's affection.

I am in a bind. If crazy cat comes back, my wife will be happy, and the dog and I will be a little sad. If he stays gone, were a normal family without a worthless team member..

Cats suck. Dogs rule. They are loyal, and can handle being punished.

Let's just hope he's not a speed bump or on the menu on Buford Highway.

Ouch. Stewart gets it right.

Can this election get any sexier?

The brewer who dared market "Legal Weed" has won.

Vaune Dillmann took on federal regulators this year when they ordered his Mt. Shasta Brewing Co. in the Northern California town of Weed to stop topping beer bottles with caps bearing the play on words, "Try Legal Weed."


Regulators cited federal law prohibiting drug references on alcoholic beverages.

A plain-talking 61-year-old former cop, Dillmann refused to back down, and his high-spirited appeal drew widespread media attention as well as support from beer lovers and civil libertarians far and wide.

Now, facing a storm of bad publicity and the prospect of a drawn-out court battle, authorities at the federal Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau have quietly reversed course. The agency finalized approval of Dillmann's controversial cap Thursday.


At first, Dillmann thought the fight might put his brewery out of business.

"They acted like Big Brother. They said I was guilty of a thought crime," Dillmann said of his six-month battle with the authorities. "But it's over. Weed fought the law, and Weed won!"

In a recent letter to Dillmann, the agency's assistant director conceded that the phrase refers to the brand name of the microbrew and said it does not mislead customers by alluding to a slang word for cannabis.

Art Resnick, an agency spokesman, said the switch in stance demonstrates the due process in the agency's appeal process, adding that "the system worked as it should."

Federal regulators, he said, "pride ourselves in working with industry members. We are not in the business of putting anyone out of business."

In fact, sales of Dillmann's brews have doubled in the six months since the controversy began. Dillmann said his small brewery -- located in the morning shadow of Mt. Shasta, just across Interstate 5 from downtown Weed -- now has to play catch-up just to fill all the orders.

But what's been good for business hasn't necessarily been good for the soul. Dillmann said his fight with the feds took a toll on his family -- in particular his wife, Barbara, who retired just over a year ago as Siskiyou County's superintendent of schools.

The fight with the regulators was "embarrassing and exhausting," he said. "It's been a whirlwind of ups and downs, frustration over whether we might be closed down or sanctioned."

Still, Dillmann conceded he took pleasure in the support his cause received.

He got 1,400 e-mails from beer aficionados and won backing from Weed's mayor, the city attorney and a county supervisor.

He also earned a lot more than the proverbial 15 minutes of fame, appearing on Fox News and in newspaper headlines as far away as Saudi Arabia. Among those who saw the reports and got in touch were his old high school football coach and two old girlfriends in his hometown of Milwaukee.

Most of the folks back home in Weed -- population 3,000 -- couldn't understand what the fuss was about. The little town has been marketing the double entendre of its name for years, with gas stations selling "High on Weed" T-shirts and a sign at the town's exit reading "Temporarily Out of Weed."

In fact, the town's name refers to Abner Weed, a local lumber baron and turn-of-the-20th-century state senator.

He's also the namesake of Dillmann's prized Abner Weed Ale, which is among those he plans to enter Sept. 13 in a brew fest in Sacramento. Last year, his Shastafarian Porter won first place.

Each bottle he brings to the festival will bear one of those shiny gold caps with the black-stenciled words that made Dillmann's last six months both harrowing and hilarious.

Watch this video!

http://www.blog.newsweek.com/blogs/tamcam/archive/2008/09/01/top-hillary-supporter-switches-to-mccain.aspx


http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1378342539/bclid1380400424/bctid1745121609


The legendary Tammy Haddad snags a scoop for Newsweek, sitting down with prominent Washington DC attorney John Coale -- a fundraiser for Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY -- at the Republican convention, now backing Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.

"Well I'm here to go from supporting Hillary, who I campaigned with, I campaigned with her husband, her daughter, her whole family, brothers, and the mother, over a period of months, big Hillary supporter, pretty big fundraiser for her, I'm here to support John McCain for president," said Coale, husband of FOX News' Greta Van Susteren.

Coale has given thousands of dollars in donations to Democrats over the years. He was a prominent supporter of Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., in 2004, raising money from lawyers who had like him worked on lawsuits against the tobacco industry. When Kerry endorsed Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois, Coale subjected him to a "tongue-lashing," in the words of the New York Times.

"I think John McCain is basically what Obama says he is and what Obama is not," Coale said. "McCain brings people together, he has an incredible record of integrity."

Coale griped about sexism against Clinton, said Obama isn't experienced enough to be president, and argued that the Democratic party has "been taken over by the moveon.org types."

He indicated that Clinton's mother, with whom he was traveling, will "be fine" with his decision to back McCain. He says he's "been traveling around with Carly Fiorina recruiting Democrats for McCain," and there are some prominent Democrats who have joined him, to be named later.

Terrance 'X' is a douche

http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/moore/entries/2008/09/01/its_not_bobby_coxs_fault.html


"It's not Bobby Cox' fault..."



Let’s see. The manager set the line-up. The manager ultimately decides when a pitcher is pulled. The manager has a hand in deciding which pitcher is used. The manager can and should provide motivation. The manager decides how to play certain situation (bunt, steal, hit and run, etc). The manager has (or should have) a hand in how to pitch a game and/or certain players. The manager can change or call pitches.

Bobby Cox…not getting on or chastising players (at least no in public). Not being a leader and giving players some motivation….except for the tired old ploy of getting himsefl thrown out. Waiting for the big hit…instead of pushing the game. Switching pitchers just so he can set up a left/ right thing…this even when a given pitcher is doing well. Leaving pitchers in too long....



I guess it’s not Bobby’s fault that the Braves traded Joey Devine (0.80 ERA) for Kotsay. Then turned around and traded Mark Kotsay for what’s his name?

It’s not Bobby’s fault that the Braves called up Chuck James not ONCE but TWICE (9.10 ERA).

It’s not Bobby’s fault that he elected to go with Gregor Blanco over Josh Anderson and then failed to put Blanco in the lead off hole where he belonged until 77 games into the season. Meanwhile, down in Richmond. Anderson proceeded to hit .314 while stealing 42 out of 49 bases.

It’s not Bobby’s fault that Jeff Bennett has been completely misused and abused. Bennett belongs in the rotation, not in the bullpen.

It’s not Bobby’s fault that the bullpen is about to top 500 innings for the third season in a row. That happened once in the fifteen years that Leo Mazzone managed the pitching. Is it just happenstance that Leo left after 2005 and the bullpen has been abused ever since?

It’s not Bobby’s fault that the Braves traded Tyler Yates while Manny Acosta has an option remaining.

It’s not Bobby’s fault that he stuck with Corky Miller (0.93 BA)

It’s not Bobby’s fault that he has stubbornly kept Jeff Francoeur in RF even though the young outfielder has been virtually an automatic out all season.

You know, I could go on and on and on. But the fact of the matter is Mr.Moore, you sir, haven’t ONE DAMN F-N CLUE.

Gotta do what you gotta do.....

The world is indeed a stage, right?



Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.