Benster Lives

We pulled up to the clearing at dusk without saying a word. I turned off the radio, picked up my drink and turned the key off. Taking a long drink and savoring it for what seemed like forever, I knew I was just delaying the inevitable.

"It's time."

I glanced at him, but he looked away, too distraught to even look into my eyes. As painful as it was for me, I knew it was devastating for him.

"OK..."

We got out of my Jeep and walked a few feet into the cold before stopping. "It looks nice here. Cold out tonight, though. You gonna be OK?"

"Yeah. We've been doing this forever - I've just never had to..."

"I know..." I said. "I just... I just don't know how to..."

He stopped me with a smile. "Don't worry. I'll be OK. Promise..."

I forced a smile and gave him what he needed to feel OK with all of this. Though I knew I'd never look at things the same, I was more embarrassed that I was taking so much pleasure in this. I didn't want him to know just how much I had been wanting this - craving this day. We knew it had to happen someday - even if by accident. But year after year, things got in the way. Things seemed to just want to stay the way they were - their fate left up to lesser men. Men who didn't care a bit about what others wanted - what they needed.

"It sounds a little trite, man... but there's a big part of me that's going to miss you."

"You don't have to say that... I know it's been..."

I stopped him with a stern look. "I mean that. It's been a long time. Since I've been born. Since I can even remember anything, you've been there. In the exact same place. I'm just... used to it. It'll be difficult. You'll move on to other people, I know. There are plenty of them out there. But you were ours for so long that it just... well, it just mattered."

He smiled wistfully as he turned and looked away, the decades of memories glistening in his eyes. "That means a lot. But it's time."

I put my arm around him and hugged him, unashamed. I started to feel it all slip away. "Take care. I mean that."

"I know. You, too."

And with that, the monkey slipped down off my shoulders and begin to walk slowly toward the jungle. After 44 years, it was over. With a simple victory - not unlike many they had experienced before - it was finally over. I took one last look at him and prepared to walk away as I closed my eyes for a moment, reflecting on what had just happened.

"Hey!"

My eyes shot open. "What?"

"Marion Campbell? Aundrey Bruce? The kennels? Everything? It was all me. All of it. Don't blame yourself. I had the Smiths' house bugged and their shrink was in my pocket. I had them make every bad decision I could think of so I could stick around. I had to - I loved it here."

A knowing grin came over my face as I realized what he'd just told me. Sheepishly he said, "I'd say I was sorry... if I was. Bye, man. Tell Thomas to get another OL early this year - they still need some upgrading. And you've got to go DE, too. That Owens kid is gonna be good - find someone to play on the other side and keep Grimes in the slot - he'll be out of this world there. It's all in place now. Trust me - you guys are going to be great for a long time. Championship great."

"OK. Thanks. You know, the Panthers haven't had winning seasons back to back either. It's just down the road from here - I think you'd like it there."

"Where do you think I'm heading now?", he said over his shoulder as he turned and started walking toward the trees.

I watched him until he disappeared into the underbrush. Then I stood there for a while, blinking back a tear or two, while trying to make sense of what had occurred here today. I knew it would take some time to come to grips with it. Real leadership. A good coaching staff. Blank finding a new shrink. It took all of that coming together to send the monkey on his way. But he was gone now and we would never see him again. I finally got into my Jeep, turned the key and headed back to town. The sun had set and all I could think of was the dawn to come. The dawn on a new landscape for all of us. Where the weight of the world seemed to have shifted - seemed to have just vanished into thin air.

And I couldn't be happier...