The Good, The Bad, and the Snarky.....

The Hill asked all 97 senators who are not running for president the same question: “If you were asked, would you accept an offer to be the VP nominee?”

Some senators laughed, but others took the question seriously. A story about these responses appears in the May 13 print edition of The Hill and at thehill.com.

Here, verbatim, are the 97 responses.

Sen. Daniel Akaka (D-Hawaii)
“No. I think there are so many others who represent us so well. Coming from Hawaii, I’m here 30 years already, and I’d rather give the opportunity to somebody else.”

Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.)
“I know already who it will be: the man in charge of the search. There’s no need for me to respond. That’s how you get to be vice president.”

Sen. Wayne Allard (R-Colo.)
“You got your answer — a laugh. The president’s going to make that choice. You can see how much I’ve thought about it.”

Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.)
“We already have a vice president from Wyoming. So we’ll have to see if Sen. McCain asks me to chair his selection committee. That seems to work well. It certainly seemed to work well for the last guy from Wyoming.”

Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.)
“No. I love my job. I’ve got the best job in the world, representing Montana in the U.S. Senate. It doesn’t get any better than that.”

Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Ind.)
“It’s presumptuous to even speculate about that kind of thing. But I suspect that’s not the sort of thing you say no to.”

Sen. Bob Bennett (R-Utah)
“Of course. Big house, big car, not much to do. Why not?”

Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del.)
“I’m happy being called ‘Mr. Chairman.’ ”

Sen. Jeff Bingaman (D-N.M.)
“I don’t expect to be asked. That’s one advantage of being from a small state. I would doubt that’s in the cards. And I’ve got a day job already.”

Sen. Kit Bond (R-Mo.)
“Obviously, anybody who’s asked would consider it very seriously, but I’m not worried about it. I had the pleasure of being on Gerald Ford’s short list in ’76, but a lot of things have changed since then.”

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.)
“I’m not the right choice for the Democrats because they’re going to carry California. So they should really look elsewhere. And I can really help them right here in the Senate as chairman of the Environment and Public Works Committee.”

Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio)
“No, I want to continue serving the people of Ohio as their senator for as long as I’m able.”

Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.)
“I would be honored to be asked. I’ve got to appraise the position in considering it. But I haven’t gone to the step of saying whether I would or wouldn’t at this point … I’d probably take away from the ticket, too. There’s always pros and cons. I’m strong pro-life, pro-marriage, and some people would say, ‘Well, I don’t like that.’ But really, people vote for president. Not vice president. I think vice president can hurt you more than it can help you. I can’t remember any time in my lifetime where I voted for a president because of the vice presidential nominee.”

Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky.)
“No comment.”

Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.)
“I don’t answer that question anymore. I answered it one time and it got me in tremendous trouble. I’ve got a job I enjoy and I’m not in search of a new job. Period.”

Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.)
“No, I can already preside over the Senate, and I do not enjoy spending a lot of time at ‘undisclosed locations.’ ”

Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.)
“Does that include any sports picks or anything like that? … I would certainly consider it.”

Sen. Ben Cardin (D-Md.)
“Other than you and my wife, I’m not sure anyone else has asked me. Obviously, it’s a position that I think is critically important, that the right person who can lead the nation be selected as vice president, someone who’s compatible with the president, and someone who can add balance to the ticket. So I’m not going to presume to answer that as far as any specific people, including myself. But I’m in the United States Senate. To be president of the Senate would be a great honor.”

Sen. Tom Carper (D-Del.)
“Yes. Sign me up. I’ve been kidding people for years: The hours are better, the wages are just as good — whoever heard of a vice president getting shot at? — and it’s a great opportunity to travel. And actually since time has gone by, the job is robust … So sure. Anybody here would, if they’re going to be honest. The chances are slim to none. But I promise you, I would deliver all three of Delaware’s electoral votes.”

Sen. Bob Casey Jr. (D-Pa.)
“I think the Democratic Party is full of strong candidates for vice president. But I don’t think I’ll be on that list.”

Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.)
“It hasn’t crossed my mind. I’ve got a lot of friends that would make good nominees and I’m out promoting them. I’m busy running for reelection.”

Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.)
“If I were asked I’d probably have to get a divorce, so the answer would probably be no. But I won’t be asked if he [McCain] wants to win.”

Sen. Thad Cochran (R-Miss.)
“When I was much younger I would have probably said, ‘Sure, I’ll be glad to accept it,’ but I’m 70 years [old] and they need a younger person for the job. I would probably tell them, ‘Look for somebody else.’ ”

Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.)
“No. I’m up for reelection and I’ve got the guy who should be vice president. He’s my governor [Tim Pawlenty (R)]. My governor is my candidate.”

Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine)
“I’m not going to be asked, so I’m not going to speculate. It’s not going to happen.”

Sen. Kent Conrad (D-N.D.)
“No. It’s never been my ambition. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a senator from North Dakota. Really.”

Sen. Bob Corker (R-Tenn.)
“There is no way a 15-month senator is going to be asked. So in deference, to make sure whoever asks would be successful, I would say no.”

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas)
“I’m running for reelection to the United States Senate … Is anybody saying no? If asked, I would have to respectfully consider it. How’s that?”

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)
“I would say ‘No, Hillary.’ ”

Sen. Mike Crapo (R-Idaho)
“No. I like serving in the Senate and I have no aspirations to be vice president. Hasn’t crossed my mind. Never really thought about it.”

Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.)
“I’d have to ask my wife. It would be an honor to be asked, and I would have to seriously consider it. But I like being a senator.”

Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.)
“Never say no. You always have to give it some thought. It depends who asks you, too.”

Sen. Elizabeth Dole (R-N.C.)
“I’m running for reelection to the United States Senate and that’s what I’m totally focused on. I’m running a strong campaign for the Senate. That’s my answer.”

Sen. Pete Domenici (R-N.M.)
“No. I’m too old.”

Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.)
“Are you kidding? Every senator would accept that offer. My guess is that almost every senator looks at themselves in the mirror in the morning and sees either a future president or vice president.”

Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.)
“I’ve decided not to run. No. … And I already have a day job.”

Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.)
“It’s so much a hypothetical it’s not even worth answering.”

Sen. Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.)
“I like my current job and I don’t care for that one.”

Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.)
“If a candidate literally says, ‘You’re the person,’ I’d have to consider it, but I prefer to do what I’m doing.”

Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.)
“Of course. I think anybody would.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)
“I have said that John needs to pick someone that he feels comfortable with and will help him win in the fall. I like him and I feel comfortable with him. But I think there are other portfolios that help more than I do. There are people that would bring a different portfolio to the table than I would and that would help us win in the fall.”

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa)
“I’m too old to be vice president. But I am young enough to be reelected to the Senate.”

Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.)
“No. I don’t like going to funerals.”

Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.)
“I’m not here to talk about that.”

Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa)
“No, I’d have Jon Stewart stand in for me. Jon Stewart. That’s my guy.”

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah)
“Not on your life. I would not be asked anyway. I don’t know anybody who wouldn’t do whatever’s best for the country, but in my case it’s just not going to happen.”

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas)
“I just really don’t have any comment beyond what I’ve said about that, that I don’t want to go in that direction at all.”

Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.)
“No. I enjoy life too much.”

Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii)
“If I were asked, I would say, ‘You’re out of your mind.’ ”

Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.)
“I would not be so presumptuous as to think I’d even thought about that. And I’d have to talk to my wife. Hey, that’s an honest answer.”

Sen. Tim Johnson (D-S.D.)
“Nope.”

Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.)
“I plan to stick with my current job until I get the hang of it.”

Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.)
“I don’t get into hypotheticals. No, I haven’t considered it. I don’t have a clue, honestly.”

Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.)
“No. I’m focused on being a senator from Minnesota.”

Sen. Herb Kohl (D-Wis.)
“No. Never thought about it.”

Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.)
“No, and in my case it’s obvious: There’s not going to be two candidates from Arizona.”

Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.)
“It’s highly unlikely, and I would say that Louisiana needs a senator and that’s what I’m running for.”

Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.)
“I’ve been waiting for someone to come up and propose it. I already told my wife to get ready to move. It has a beautiful living facility. But I like what I do. Frankly, it’s a more important job. You’re asked to respond to things in a more basic way than defending bad policy. I don’t like defending bad policy.”

Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.)
“No. I’d like to see somebody from a large, diverse state.”

Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.)
“I haven’t considered it and I don’t expect to be asked, so I wouldn’t spend any time even thinking about it.”

Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.)
“Once is enough. I already have the T-shirt and I’m proud of it. I yield to my colleagues.”

Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.)
“I have not considered it. It’s a hypothetical I don’t need to answer. I’m not going to play ‘What if.’ ”

Sen. Richard Lugar (R-Ind.)
“No, that’s not going to happen.”

Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.)
“I’d say, ‘Please read the Constitution.’ I wasn’t born in America; I can’t be VP.”

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.)
“If I were asked, I would ask some mental health professionals to visit Barack Obama. I just think Sen. Obama is way too smart to pick me. I’m not a good pick, and he’s smarter than that. That’s why he’s going to make such a good president.”

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.)
“No.”

Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.)
“I love representing the people of New Jersey. I am immensely proud of the opportunity to represent the people of New Jersey and that’s what I want to continue to do.”

Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.)
“Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I would be great. First of all, I know how to behave at weddings and funerals. And I know how to be commander in chief. I’d bring a lot of fun to the job. We would rock the Naval Observatory.”

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)
“My name has been discussed partly because I’m a female and it’s always nice to balance things in gender … I’ve discussed it with my kids. My 16-year-old thinks it’s a fabulous idea because he thinks we probably couldn’t find any better residence in Washington, D.C., than the Naval Observatory. That’s the fun part of the question, but I think anybody, if you were seriously asked, I think you have to give it very real and genuine consideration. I don’t expect to be asked, but if I were I would give it real and genuine consideration.”

Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.)
“Any American citizen, large or small, would be honored to be asked. But I totally expect any of our candidates to have a tremendous list of people. I don’t expect to be asked.

Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.)
“It would be flattering, but I don’t see how it’s going to happen and I don’t see how I would accept.”

Sen. Bill Nelson (D-Fla.)
“If Hillary’s the nominee, Barack will be the running mate. If Barack’s the nominee, Hillary will be the running mate. That’s my answer.”

Sen. Mark Pryor (D-Ark.)
“They can do a lot better than me. I just don’t see it happening. I don’t know what I’d bring to the ticket. I’d have to think about it. I don’t see how I would add much to the ticket. To give you an honest answer, I don’t know what I’d do.

Sen. Jack Reed (D-R.I.)
“No. I have a fabulous job representing people that I admire immensely in Rhode Island and I think I can do this job better here.”

Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.)
“I’m looking forward to serving the people of Nevada and leading an expanded majority in the U.S. Senate well into the future.”

Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.)
“No. I don’t cut ribbons well or give eulogies at funerals.”

Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.)
“No. I’m too deeply ingrained in the culture of the people of West Virginia. It wouldn’t even be a choice for me. I want to stay where I am and do what I do. That’s non-debatable.”

Sen. Ken Salazar (D-Colo.)
“Of course. Everybody in here would do it if asked. But it’s a very speculative question and I don’t expect it’ll happen in my case.”

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.)
“I have not yet been asked. Furthermore, I expect I will not be asked.”

Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.)
“Me being asked is so unlikely I don’t even have to waste my breath on the question.”

Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.)
“I would ask, ‘Are you serious?’ I have friends who sometimes say it, but it’s not a practical thing, I don’t think.”

Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.)
“First of all, I wouldn’t be interested and I haven’t been asked. I think McCain ought to choose whoever he’s comfortable with and could help him win.”

Sen. Gordon Smith (R-Ore.)
“Let me put it this way: I’m not on the list, so it’s a hypothetical question.”

Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine)
“I like where I am in the United States Senate. Obviously, you would always consider something like that, but I’m happy where I am.”

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.)
“Absolutely not.”

Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.)
“I don’t believe that’s going to happen, but certainly it’s something that anybody would be honored to talk about.”

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)
“No. I’ve got too many things that I still want to do as a senator. And I don’t like the idea of a job where you sit around and wait for someone to die.”

Sen. John Sununu (R-N.H.)
“I am focused on my election. And frankly, I don’t think John McCain should pick any member of Congress or the United States Senate.”

Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.)
“I’m more focused on doing my job as a senator, truthfully. You’d have a lot of ability to push your things, but I like the position I’m in right now. I’m happy with it. This position suits me better at this point in time.”

Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.)
“That won’t happen, so I won’t have to worry about it. Obviously it’s an honor. Anybody would look at it that way, but I just don’t see that happening.”

Sen. David Vitter (R-La.)
“My favorite is our new governor [Former Rep. Bobby Jindal (R-La.)]. I don’t think I’m in the realm of possibility in any way, so I haven’t given it any thought.”

Sen. George Voinovich (R-Ohio)
“Honestly, if John McCain came to me and said, ‘George, I think that you would help me and should be part of my team,’ I’d have to say, ‘Yes, I’d be glad to help.’ The fact of the matter is, I’m worried about our country. I’m really worried. And I want to run again for only one reason, that things are so screwed up, I’m just worried about my kids. So if somebody came to me and said, ‘We really think you could help us do this,’ I couldn’t say no because maybe it’s another way of serving my country and it’s maybe even more important than being a senator. The first question I’d ask is, ‘What role would you want me to play? If you want me to give a bunch of speeches, I’m not the guy. Get somebody else. If you want me to roll up the shirtsleeves, get up early in the morning, dot the I’s and cross the T’s, do substantive stuff? OK.’ ”

Sen. John Warner (R-Va.)
“No, I’m not getting into that. I’m happily in the twilight of my retirement.”

Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va.)
“I’m not really interested. That’s all I want to say.”

Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.)
“No. I love what I’m doing here. I’m a junior senator from Rhode Island. It hasn’t crossed anybody’s mind.”

Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.)
“The chances of that are so remote that I’m more likely to be hit by an asteroid.”

Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.)
“I have a unique perspective on this. I am the only senator to have announced I am not running for president because there should be someone here to serve as the Senate’s designated driver. I intend to stay in that position.